Doors & Manners

When I’m opening a door, how far behind me does someone have to be before I am not obligated to hold the door open for them?   Two, four, ten, twelve steps?   Honestly, this sort of thing causes me a lot of anxiety.   Because inevitably, due to my bad judgement, I’ll hold the door when someone is too far away and they will then feel compelled to run to get to the door as they don’t want to be seen as taking advantage of my kindness.   And I didn’t want that, I just wanted to be nice and hold the door open for them.   When people do run, I usually say “no hurry.”   And I mean it.   Of course, the flip side is that I don’t hold the door and they now think I’m that guy who has no common courtesy.   And it makes me sad to even think I could be “that guy”.

I’m hosed either way.   Maybe I should just start slamming doors in people’s faces.   Of course, that would bring lawsuits.   I don’t want those, either.

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3 Responses to Doors & Manners

  1. Venita says:

    Sweetie…you will never be that guy. Dourtesy and manners are a part of your wonderful character! It is one of the hundreds of reasons i love you with all of my heart!

  2. Phil says:

    I’ve stopped holding doors for men who are farther than a couple of steps (almost completely, really), and only slightly farther for women.

  3. Phil says:

    Furthermore, stop worrying about what people think of you. You can’t change it anyway. Live by your code – or God’s if it suits you – to your own satisfaction. Get therapy if necessary to quit obsessing.

    ‘What God requires from you is in your head and in your heart. That plus what you do everyday will make you a good man.’ – paraphrased from a movie.

    And "dourtesty’ is definitely part of your character.

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